Real networking! Anything We Do Is for Others and Because of Others: If you Keep Score You Lose.

There is no such thing as a self-made man.

To be a great leader you need to be generous. We live in a connected world and generosity is your currency to success.

As the oldest of five brothers, I learned to quickly become independent as most of the attention went to my siblings. Still, I had someone to shelter me, keep me warm, and offer advice in some form or another.

Probably the only thing I can say I’ve ever done on my own has been to desire something and take the first step. Everything else after that depended on someone having the answer, tools, resources, or advice to get what I wanted.

If you are the type of person to never ask for help this is your sign to ask.

We don’t ask for help because of shame thinking it might be something dumb to ask for. We feel as if we should already have everything figured out or wonder why others are already where we would want to be in life. We look at our social media friends and wonder how they do it. How do manage to take that trip you’ve been wanting to or have that new expensive car?

Sometimes people offer help or we know of someone who will be able to help but we don’t ask for help or we don’t accept the help because we’re afraid to be in social debt. You don’t want to feel obligated to return the favor because you might have to do twice as many favors just to be in the good graces of others and maybe have the upper hand as the most helpful and kind person. It just feels exhausting!

But the truth is, you’ve already asked for help in many ways—whether you have asked a friend if the company they work at is hiring, and you’ve asked for free advice or help to get a job interview. You’ve got to be willing to accept generosity and dare to go out and ask for it.

But, accepting generosity is only half of the work.

There is always something you have to offer others, no matter how big or small. The more you and others share, the bigger the pie gets for everyone. Connecting with others is a constant process of giving and receiving. We either ask or offer help.

Real success comes from generosity.

Why is this?

Generosity strengthens relationships by prioritizing the needs of others, building trust, and creating a supportive network of individuals who are more likely to advocate for you. This, in turn, opens doors to greater professional opportunities and growth. By sincerely helping others, you lay the groundwork for loyalty and mutual support, leading to long-term benefits.

What if you “feel” that you’re too generous or too nice? Stop keeping score hoping for someone to come and save you.

Nice is expecting something in return. Being to nice to that girl or guy you have a crush on hoping they might notice you and like you back in return. It shows all over your face and you become a push over. But being kind and generous because is the right thing to do and without expectation creates mystery and attracts abundance.

First of all great job if you’re too generous! Now, go out there and take your shot! It’s time for you to learn to ask and learn to receive. Stop procrastinating on your own dreams by always trying to help solve other people’s problems or dreams. People will be more willing to help than you might think. And if the generosity isn’t there when you take your shot, it means that you probably weren’t ready yet, you need to keep asking, and/or take your shot where you know you won’t miss and work your way up.

What if you’re dealing with a person of lack, a taker, or if you’re a taker?

We are all takers or have been takers in some aspect of our life or another or know someone who is. This is something I had to learn the hard way. If you know or are someone who is not generous or is a person of a lack mindset and is always looking for a hand, here is what you should do.

If you are the taker or dependent on others or know someone who is, this is a lacking mindset and keeping score to see how much can be done without sharing anything back. This kills relationships and future opportunities. You have to be generous because is the right thing to do and it pays its dividend even when you don’t expect anything back.

Don’t keep score but also let others grow. Let a taker have a chance to grow by letting them ask others for help other than just you not because you’re keeping score and they’re doing less but because it’s the best way for everyone to grow. Help them or advise them by offering in ways that will make them self-reliant. Let them put some work into their mindset to change and improve. For them to learn to give to others by putting effort into themselves. Shift your generosity to others you know are also generous.

Always try to do things on your own first. If it’s something that needs to be done with someone else make sure to be present in the moment. Share the experience or genuine gratefulness for the help or companionship. Always being present with others builds a stronger bond and community and it’s a way of giving back.

We get lost in our thoughts and any activity becomes automatic but often some of the best memories with others are when we’re doing the most normal things but we’re being present. We never know when we might see someone for the last time.

Independent people may be good individual producers but often not very good leaders. Be a smart independent interdependent person.

When you learn to try and figure things out on your own first it builds character, an abundance mindset, discipline, resourcefulness, and creative problem-solving. You learn a lot along the way. And when it comes time to ask for help you don’t show up empty-handed expecting everything to be done for you. You now can help the other person better help you and you are now able to be generous with someone who knows less than you.

Generosity is a cycle. You give, you receive, and in the process, everyone grows. Don’t let fear, shame, or a scarcity mindset hold you back.

Ask for help when you need it. Offer help when you can. And above all, keep showing up—for yourself, for others, and for the moments that matter most.

The more we share, the bigger the pie gets for everyone. Trust the process and when you least expect you will have a strong community and supportive network of individuals who are more likely to advocate for you.

So take your shot, embrace generosity!